They warned us not to make promises we couldn't keep, and I was very careful with my wording. Still, as I tried to coax Tony* to go get a late pass from room 160, I worried about how he was interpreting what I was saying.
"Hey Tony, how's it going? How come you're not in class?"
"I'll tell you the truth. I was on my way to class, but my jacket got stuck in my locker, so I was late, and the teacher wouldn't let me in without a late pass."
"That sucks. So you're on your way to 160 to get a late pass?"
He hesitated.
"No, I don't want to get suspended"
"Why would you get suspended for being late?"
"Well... I wasn't in my other classes today..."
"Okay... but you're still getting marked absent right now... so you can still get suspended, and you're making it worse by not going to class."
He shrugged. My logic, which seemed pretty flawless to me, didn't phase him.
"I don't want another suspension. Then I'll be absent even more."
His logic was also pretty sound.
"How about I go to 160 with you, and we can try talking to the administrator? I want us to try to resolve this, because you can't keep avoiding the situation."
He seemed doubtful. I was doubtful. I had no idea what would happen when we walked in that door. I didn't know how much influence I had, or what Tony's situation was. I worried about what would happen if I made him go to 160, and then he got suspended.
I started nudging him in the direction of the room.
The administrator greeted us, and I explained why I was accompanying Tony. For the next 35 minutes, the three of us talked. The administrator pulled up Tony's data, showing large blocks of red for the classes he'd skipped. I pointed out the patch of white, standing out in the sea of red, the few days in a row when Tony managed to make it to all of his classes. We talked about what was going on at home. His mom and step-dad living with his grandmother while they search for housing, while he stayed with his 21 year-old brother and his girlfriend.
"Who wakes you up for school?"
"No one"
"Does anyone make you breakfast?"
"No"
The administrator sighed. "It's hard to be successful in school without a lot of encouragement at home."
Tony nodded.
We talked about the benefits of graduating from high school, and what that entails. We showed him that it wasn't too late, but that he needs to start working harder and coming to class. The administrator pulled up a graph showing median earnings by education level. Tony began to show some interest. He asked questions, was more engaged than I'd ever seen him.
The administrator asked a lot of questions about why Tony was skipping, where he was going, etc. He didn't get any answers. I decided to try and shift the conversation, from past to future.
"Let's put aside whatever happened today. How about tomorrow? If you don't get suspended, will you make it to all of your classes tomorrow?" I held my breath. I didn't have the authority to make an offer like that, but I figured if I said it out loud, in front of Tony, the administrator wouldn't want to take that back. I was right.
"That sounds like a sweet deal she's offering. I'm willing to hold back on suspending you, and give you a chance to do better. Will you come to all of your classes tomorrow?"
Tony nodded.
The three of us smiled.
The administrator thanked me for coming, I thanked him for being flexible and taking the time to talk to Tony. He talked about how it's unfortunate that most of the time when students come down there, it's too busy to talk to them, they just get served with their papers and sent back to class. No one tries to understand what's happening in the students' lives, what's preventing them from going to class.
So many students get suspended. Every day, in every class, there are 2-3 students missing because they are suspended. They get suspended for missing class or being late too many times. There's not much I can do, but I took a chance today, and prevented what would have most likely been a three-day suspension.
Every day, in almost everything I do, I feel ineffective. There is so much I can't change, so many ways everything is messed up, and so little I can do. Everything I do feels like a drop in the ocean, and the ocean just gets bigger and bigger. Once in a while, I get to do something like this, and feel like I'm doing something, but that feeling is fleeting. It disappears under the mountain of failures. All I can do is try to hold on to these moments for as long as I can.
*Name changed to protect student's privacy
"Hey Tony, how's it going? How come you're not in class?"
"I'll tell you the truth. I was on my way to class, but my jacket got stuck in my locker, so I was late, and the teacher wouldn't let me in without a late pass."
"That sucks. So you're on your way to 160 to get a late pass?"
He hesitated.
"No, I don't want to get suspended"
"Why would you get suspended for being late?"
"Well... I wasn't in my other classes today..."
"Okay... but you're still getting marked absent right now... so you can still get suspended, and you're making it worse by not going to class."
He shrugged. My logic, which seemed pretty flawless to me, didn't phase him.
"I don't want another suspension. Then I'll be absent even more."
His logic was also pretty sound.
"How about I go to 160 with you, and we can try talking to the administrator? I want us to try to resolve this, because you can't keep avoiding the situation."
He seemed doubtful. I was doubtful. I had no idea what would happen when we walked in that door. I didn't know how much influence I had, or what Tony's situation was. I worried about what would happen if I made him go to 160, and then he got suspended.
I started nudging him in the direction of the room.
The administrator greeted us, and I explained why I was accompanying Tony. For the next 35 minutes, the three of us talked. The administrator pulled up Tony's data, showing large blocks of red for the classes he'd skipped. I pointed out the patch of white, standing out in the sea of red, the few days in a row when Tony managed to make it to all of his classes. We talked about what was going on at home. His mom and step-dad living with his grandmother while they search for housing, while he stayed with his 21 year-old brother and his girlfriend.
"Who wakes you up for school?"
"No one"
"Does anyone make you breakfast?"
"No"
The administrator sighed. "It's hard to be successful in school without a lot of encouragement at home."
Tony nodded.
We talked about the benefits of graduating from high school, and what that entails. We showed him that it wasn't too late, but that he needs to start working harder and coming to class. The administrator pulled up a graph showing median earnings by education level. Tony began to show some interest. He asked questions, was more engaged than I'd ever seen him.
The administrator asked a lot of questions about why Tony was skipping, where he was going, etc. He didn't get any answers. I decided to try and shift the conversation, from past to future.
"Let's put aside whatever happened today. How about tomorrow? If you don't get suspended, will you make it to all of your classes tomorrow?" I held my breath. I didn't have the authority to make an offer like that, but I figured if I said it out loud, in front of Tony, the administrator wouldn't want to take that back. I was right.
"That sounds like a sweet deal she's offering. I'm willing to hold back on suspending you, and give you a chance to do better. Will you come to all of your classes tomorrow?"
Tony nodded.
The three of us smiled.
The administrator thanked me for coming, I thanked him for being flexible and taking the time to talk to Tony. He talked about how it's unfortunate that most of the time when students come down there, it's too busy to talk to them, they just get served with their papers and sent back to class. No one tries to understand what's happening in the students' lives, what's preventing them from going to class.
So many students get suspended. Every day, in every class, there are 2-3 students missing because they are suspended. They get suspended for missing class or being late too many times. There's not much I can do, but I took a chance today, and prevented what would have most likely been a three-day suspension.
Every day, in almost everything I do, I feel ineffective. There is so much I can't change, so many ways everything is messed up, and so little I can do. Everything I do feels like a drop in the ocean, and the ocean just gets bigger and bigger. Once in a while, I get to do something like this, and feel like I'm doing something, but that feeling is fleeting. It disappears under the mountain of failures. All I can do is try to hold on to these moments for as long as I can.
*Name changed to protect student's privacy
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